areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
