Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
