**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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