whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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