i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
