How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
