i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize