shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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