I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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