I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
