You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
