i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize