I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
