Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
