I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
