Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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