i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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