He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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