Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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