i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
