Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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