update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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