Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
