I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
