walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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