I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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