Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
