Kiss
Puke
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
