Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
