we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
time to smoke my breakfast
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize