if only i could text you this smell
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
