my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
