if you like me you must not know who I am
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
