got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
