That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize