We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
