I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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