it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
