I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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