Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
