it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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