Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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