I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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