I hate all girls vehemently.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
