Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize