come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize