i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
