Don't make out with my wife yet
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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