Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
