i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
