He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want to make a zoo with you.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize