She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Houston, we have a squirter
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
