is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
