I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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