It's Friday. Sex?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize