can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
