it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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