Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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