We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
