Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
