what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
