I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
