That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He passed out mid-signature
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize