i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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