she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
