You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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